Boggarts
by shiny ruby
Summary: Harry and Ron discuss their kids greatest fears. Read and review, please.


**Boggarts. **

Harry waited till they were both sitting in the dimly lit pub with a drink in each of their hands before starting off.

"You," pronounced Harry,"are a complete arse."

Ron raised an eyebrow. He wasn't overly concerned about the announcement seeing that Harry didn't look too angry, however it did warrant some thought. He couldn't think of anything he had done, recently anyway, to deserve that title.

"I am?"

Harry nodded. "Thanks to you, my son is terribly afraid of snakes."

Ron looked puzzled. "What does that have to do with me?"

"Well...he's always been terrified of snakes..but what I was actually referring to was the fact that Albus' boggart is now a Basilisk."

Ron realised what Harry was talking about. "Oh."

"Yeah."

"Well," said Ron,"on the plus side, he thinks that you and I are fantastic. 'You and dad saved Mum?! He got bitten by the basilisk? The Sword of Gryffindor?!'"

He said the last part in a ridiculously childish and high pitched voice that Harry supposed was meant to sound like Albus.

"And you didn't think telling him a story about how his mother was almost killed would traumatise him?"

"He's heard plenty of stories where his father was almost killed!"

"This is different Ron!"

"Is it?"

"It's expected! They are told as a joke. This was serious. Ginny was completely helpless and she could have died without a choice, Ron. In the stories about me, you and Hermione, they always know that we did it on purpose, we knew it was dangerous!"

Ron deflated slightly. "Badgers and now snakes. Bloody fantastic, that."

Harry was so surprised that he forgot his anger temporarily. "Badgers?"

Ron looked up. "Yeah, badgers," he said, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. "I managed to terrify Teddy of badgers when he was 5, remember?"

Harry burst out laughing. "I remember," he said grinning,"the poor kid. Scared of Hufflepuff, imagine."

"Tonks would have killed me."

"She would."

"At least Albus' boggart is decent. Rose's is the stupidest I've ever seen." Ron grumbled, his face darkening.

Harry raised his eyebrows questioningly.

"Getting disowned. Her boggart is me disowning her. You haven't even heard the worst part," he added, at Harry's surprised expression,"I disown her because of Scorpius Malfoy."

Ron found Harry's reaction very peculiar. He burst out laughing.

"It's not funny! My daughter fancies a Malfoy!"

"The Malfoy in question fancies her back."

"That's even worse."

Harry was shaking with suppressed laughter.

"Merlin, Ron," he said, "give the kid a chance."

"But Harry...he's a slimy Slytherin."

"There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a Slytherin."

Ron glowered. "You're saying that just because Albus is in it."

"Yeah he is. And I happen to be very proud of him, thanks."

"I know you are, mate. But you can't honestly tell me you like that Thomas kid."

"He's a git."

Ron smirked. Point made. "Yeah. You, James, Al and Teddy think so."

"He's a git, Ron."

"He's going out with Lily."

"That's precisely why he's a git."

"Merlin, Harry," Ron mimicked,"give the kid a chance."

"Oh shut up."

Ron laughed.

"Lily doesn't seem to be the type to even have a Boggart."

"You'd be surprised."

"You know what it is?"

"'Course."

"Well, go on then."

"She doesn't know I know," admitted Harry,"Gin is the one who found out. It's Teddy. Except... he isn't exactly acting like Teddy. It's a warped version. He's yelling at her, being awful, saying it'd be better if she were dead."

"Teddy?" repeated Ron, stunned.

Harry smiled wanly. "Lily has a bit of a crush on him."

Ron groaned. "You're joking."

"Dead serious. She's liked him for ages. It explains her never dying resentment for Victoire, though."

"Wait- no what?"

"Victoire and Teddy." Harry clarified, "Don't get me wrong, she adores Vic. But she sort of hates her at the same time. I suppose she thinks she has no chance in that sense with Victoire around."

"It was a bit of a surprise, Vic and Ted."

"What do you mean?"

"What I mean is that they were best mates. And now...you know."

Harry smirked. "You and Hermione were best mates."

Ron sputtered. "It isn't the same."

"Is that right?"

"Shut up, Potter."

Harry laughed,"I feel bad for Dominique, though."

Ron made a face. "I know what you mean."

"Imagine being compared to Victoire all the time."

"I can imagine. Pretty well."

Harry sobered at the implications of what Ron had said. "I'm pretty sure she fancies Teddy, too."

"Oh that's got to be awful. You know an awful lot of gossip."

"Lily talks a lot." He admitted.

"Evidently." Ron's eyes lit up,"Although, on the topic of stupid boggarts, Hugo wins the prize."

"Can't be that bad."

Ron made a face. "Broken pieces of his guitar."

"That makes a bit of sense though."

"Yeah I suppose. His guitar makes him different. It's probably what I hate most about our family. Everyone always feels inadequate in comparison."

Harry nodded, he understood what Ron was getting at. "That's always until they find what they're good at, though. I mean, no one compares you to any of them anymore, do they?"

"I suppose." He snorted. "You're probably the only one with a decent boggart. Dementors. Fear of fear itself. Wise."

Harry made a pained face."Dementors… Dementors," Harry struggled with words,"they aren't my boggart."

Ron choked on his firewhiskey. "What do you mean they aren't your boggart? Boggarts don't just change!"

Harry shrugged,"I suppose I found something scarier than a dementor."

Ron stared. "Well, what is it then?"

"The mirror Sirius gave me in fifth year."

Comprehension dawned on Ron's face. "But...that's your biggest regret, not your biggest fear."

Harry shrugged again. "I suppose they aren't so different. I never want to see it again. Technically, that constitutes as fear."

Ron knew that Harry wanted to change the topic. "So...what's up with you and Teddy?"

An odd, shuttered expression crossed Harry's face. He put down his glass carefully. "How do you know something's up?"

Ron shrugged. "Well, you didn't deny it and let's face it mate, you're pretty obvious. Or, obvious to me, anyway."

"We had a bit of a row."

"Regarding?"

Harry shrugged helplessly. "He's been off lately, you know, with that new book. I went to ask what's wrong. It just escalated. There were plenty of 'They left me!'s and then he said 'That's easy for you to say, they weren't your parents. They went off to fight for your cause!' (Ron winced) It was a pretty low blow. So I may or may not have lost my temper, which probably made things a lot worse because it ended with him shouting 'Who do you think you are, my father?'"

"And then?"

Harry snorted. "Walked out, banged the door and here I am."

"He'll apologise."

Harry shrugged. "I'm not that angry. I know how he feels."

"Yeah, I know you do. Remus is pretty smart, making you godfather."

"Please," Harry snorted. "I've messed up _so_ much."

"Well yeah. But we all have. Teddy's just lucky to have you, that's all."

Harry shrugged noncommitedly. "Maybe. Maybe not. He's probably at Bill's. So is Lily, actually. And I promised Gin I'd pick her up."

Ron noticed how Harry avoided saying 'them' so as to not include Teddy. Merlin, he almost rolled his eyes. He couldn't believe he actually thought Ron didn't notice Teddy had actually hurt his feelings. The redhead got up suddenly, picked up his coat from the back of the chair and began putting it on. Harry got up too, scrambling to follow him as he moved towards the exit.

"Where are you going?"

Ron, already half way out the door, turned and raised an eyebrow at Harry, "Bill's. Coming?"

_Obviously_. Harry thought and rushed to follow him out of the pub.

**Well, there you go.**

**Betaed by the lovely: my insides are blue. Genuinely fabulous person.**

**Review, yeah?**


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